MONOLOGUE

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There was a huge staff reduction over at CNN. Hundreds of employees are mourning getting laid off, while over at ABC, TJ Holmes and Amy Robach are celebrating getting laid.

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Tiffany Trump got married at Mar-a-Lago.  With the guest list including people like her dad, Donald, and Kimberly Guilfoyle, these nuptials required a two-marriage minimum.   

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People wonder if President Biden should seek a second term since he turned 80. Joe gets political strategy comes from the White House decorators... “What the Oval Office needs, is more antiques.”

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Nancy Pelosi isn't seeking reelection as Speaker of the House because she wants to do something different. Without giving too much away, look for her in her new TV show, "Real Housewives of the 117th Congress."

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The Trump family celebrated Thanksgiving at Mar-a-Lago. The turkey was served with stuffing, yams, and a side of subpoenas. 

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Kanye West says he will run for president in 2024. When asked who would be his running mate, Ye plans on choosing one of his multiple personalities.

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Prince Harry’s Book is coming out on January 10, and he’s calling the book, “Spare.” Although “spare” in Britain means you're an heir to the throne, in the States, it means you belong in the trunk.

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British Airways had to find another plane after a passenger defecated and smeared it all over the cabin. There hasn’t been so much stink over anyone leaving Britain since Harry and Meghan left for California.

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President Biden’s decision to pardon those charged with federal marijuana possession doesn’t apply to the military. Soldiers were disappointed, they were hoping to give Biden a 21 Bong Salute.

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And finally, an oldie but a goodie...

Sy Sperling, the founder of "The Hair Club for Men" has died. In keeping with tradition, he was buried underneath a small patch of AstroTurf.

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